How to make your child to listen to you? Top 5 tips from experts.
I bet that every mom once in a while struggles with her child that doesn’t want to listen. And another most asked question: “Is my child happy?” Its not easy to juggle work, home chores, and a little personality that seems to be larger then life. So, what’s the best way to speak with your loved one to make sure he or she listen to you. And how do we know that our children are getting the love and care we give them? I found some best advice from babycenter.com and time.com (links at the end of the post).
1. Be a good listener
Don’t interrupt your child when he’s telling you a story. Give him your undivided attention when he’s talking – don’t read the paper or carry on a conversation with someone else at the same time. Turn your attention to him when he wants to tell or show you something.If you want him to listen to you, he needs to see that you will listen to him too. Children return the respect they receive, and children who are listened to often become good listeners themselves.
2. The first step to happier kids is, ironically, a little bit selfish.
The time.com website says that “How happy you are affects how happy and successful your kids are — dramatically”.
Extensive research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and “negative outcomes” in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.
3. Give clear, simple directions for everyday tasks
Get in the habit of giving your child simple instructions. Make eye contact with her, and say, “Please go into the bathroom and wash your hands. Then get your backpack and meet me downstairs.” Keep in mind what’s age appropriate. A 2-year-old can probably only handle a two-step instruction like, “Get your backpack and meet me downstairs.” A 3- or 4-year-old may be able to handle a little more.
4. Expect Effort, Not Perfection
Note to perfectionist helicopter parents and Tiger Moms: cool it. Relentlessly banging the achievement drum messes kids up. Some experts say that: “Parents who overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids”. “The majority of the kids praised for their intelligence wanted the easier puzzle; they weren’t going to risk making a mistake and losing their status as “smart.”
5. Praise good listening and read together
Saying “thanks for being such a good listener” reinforces your child’s desire to listen. Make a special point of praising him when he follows directions the first time. The time you spend reading together prepares your child for story time at school. She’ll be expected to sit still for longer and longer periods of time, so help her practice listening at home. Ask her to tell you what happened in the story as you read.