Dealing with Physical Injuries and Overcoming Pain, Depression and Stress - Alina Reyzelman

Dealing with Physical Injuries and Overcoming Pain, Depression and Stress

On July 26th 2014 my whole family was in a close to death car accident. One year later, we are still recovering…physically and emotionally. I’ve decided to write a post about overcoming emotional and physical stress because I have experienced it first hand and  I know that its a very long and difficult process of dealing with pain, fears and anxiety. I wanted to share with you my journey on dealing with the recovery and hopefully it could help somehow or cheer up others who are overcoming similar circumstances.

When I think of that day, even one year later, I realize that I still have many fears. I dont ask the question — Why? Why did it happen to us? Guess, what? Its not helpful or productive to ask this question. When injury happened, it happened, don’t waste your time on trying to understand why it happened, focus your energy on dealing and overcoming the injury. I’ve learned only one thing, everything happens for the reason, you may know what it is, you may find out one day or you may not. But overcoming challenges like that is usually food for thought for self development and its best to deal with that when you are on  away to recovery.

It was a Saturday afternoon and were on a way to see our friend and his family, it was a birthday party for a 3 year old boy. So, we were all dressed up and ready to go with flowers and presents. My husband and I were planning to have some bubbly that night, so we had a designated driver and we also took a nanny with us for our daughter Naomi, who was only 18 months old at that time. From our house to a party it was only 10-15 min drive. My husband and I set at the back with our baby doll. We always put Naomi into a car seat and that day was no acceptation. I am so glad that we always insist on car seat for Naomi even when she is fussy and refuses to sit in it. That day, that car seat saved her life! We were running a bit late and because we were in a rush, my husband and I didn’t put our seat belts on… In fact, not many people in Russia put their seat belts at the back, especially if they are driving with drivers. BIG MISTAKE! When we got to the highway, we saw that it was no traffic, so we driving about 60km in a hour, (within a speed limit).  We were probably 5 min away from a birthday party when both my husband and I saw a white jeep in front of us. It was literally in front of us and I remember our driver saying «Where did it come from?». Because it were driving through a small curb, our driver could not see a car earlier, and he didnt jhave enough time to take a car to a ditch, so we had a head on collision. On one hand that moment is like a blur, on another, I remember every detail. After the impact, the car was filled with smoke, I felt pain in my stomach, I opened my eyes and I saw that I was laying on a floor on top of my husband. I heard him screaming. The first reaction from both of us was «How is Naomi?» I saw the driver pulling her from her car seat, she was scared and shocked but I could tell she was all right. People who were driving behind us stopped and helped me to get out of the car. My husband could not move, it was clear he had a broken leg, our nanny who was sitting next to a driver could not move either. People helped to cut a seat belt and get her out of a car. It was the most stressful and painful 45 min of my life. We were waiting for emergency services and I kept praying that they would get here quickly and help us. I could walk, but my legs were bleeding, I saw the bone sticking out on my left arm, so I knew it was broken. I had injuries in my chest and stomach and I was hoping it was no internal bleeding. My husband couldn’t breath or move, he kept screaming, because he could not tolerate the pain, he had a bad cut on his head and I didn’t know how serious his injuries were. Our nanny was laying on a ground, she could not even move her arms or legs, I was afraid she broken her back and ribs. My daughter started crying and screaming, I didn’t know what to do I was close to  a mental breakdown. But instead of breaking into tears, I decided to pull myself together and stay strong for my family. After all, I could still walk, I had my right arm working just fine. So I found my purse, I got on my phone and I started calling our insurance company, our family clinic, our friends and my parents asking for help.

Since I managed to make all these calls, we were transferred quickly to the special clinic, and my husband got a surgery right away, my mom got on a next flight to Moscow and I made arrangements for friends to pick up Naomi to look after her until my mom got into town. So, I guess, my first suggestion for those who are in a terrible situation like ours, don’t let stress to overtake you. Take control of your stress and concentrate on what is important. Focus on getting medical help, family support. If you are panicking and having a meltdown you are essentially letting stress to decide your fate.

I wanted to tell you the story of the car crash in graphic details because the memories of that accident will hunt us all for a lifetime. And I am sure people who were in similar situations, experience similar fears…such as fear of driving again, fear of loosing your loved ones, fear of never recovering form the injury. That’s why I want to focus on psychological side of the trauma. My family and I suffered severe physical injuries but psychological damage was also tremendous and it should be considered when you are going through rehabilitation and recovery. Here is what the experts say about that: «Dr. Kelly Starrett of MobilityWOD and San Francisco CrossFit and author of Becoming a Supple Leopard discussed the importance of recognizing the psychosocial aspects of physical injury. When people are injured, they experience a range of emotions that may seem extreme or idiosyncratic but are actually well within the normal range of responses». It is not uncommon for people to experience some or all of the following:

Depression:  Many people experience depression after traumatic incident. It is not surprising that mood will be affected when you can not walk, do things you enjoy, go to work and perform your duties. I was on sick leave for almost 6 weeks my husband was out for two months. . There is often a component of negative affect and depression associated with injury timeouts.  Experts recommend, that if one’s depressive symptoms become severe, professional help via therapy and/or medication should be part of the individual’s overall recovery plan. I saw a psychiatrist a couple of times (and it helped me to put things into perspective, I talked about my fears and faced them instead of running away from them). I also decided to focus my energy on my work and other things that could help to take my mind off the physical pain. Acknowledge your depression and fight it, don’t let it become part of your life.

Isolation:  Injured people often feel isolated and lonely. Along with this experience of isolation may come an unwanted feeling of envy of those who are healthy and able to continue their daily life, going to work, parties and doing all these wonderful things.  Envy is an uncomfortable emotion and is often accompanied by shame or guilt.  You should know that envy may be part of the experience, especially when an injury is serious and long-term. In that case I would suggest to think positive, no matter what. Focus on your recovery with all you’ve got! Visualize yourself healthy, make plans for the future, make a promise to yourself to do things that you’ve never tried before. Thinking positive and dreaming helps to recover much faster. I had to wear a cast for my broken arm almost 2 months, I had bad infection in one of my cuts and almost lost a toe. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to adapt as much as I could and fit in back into the society. I also made a promise to myself, that I would treat myself to a nice dinner, trip to Europe and some shopping once I can wear hills again.

Anxiety:  When someone is suffering from a terrible physical trauma, you may experience heightened levels of anxiety, both regarding the sense of identity and their capacity for healing and recovery.  Some studies even indicate symptoms of post-traumatic stress after an injury. Remember one thing, if you fear re-injury or don’t fully believe in your recovery, you may behave in ways that actually hinder recovery and lead to re-injury, such as overdoing rehabilitation and recovery training, thereby taxing the injured parts in ways that are harmful instead of helpful. Check books and studies on this subject by O’Connor Sr., 2011; Brewer and Petitpas, 2005; Podlog and Eklund, 2007; Peterson, 2009.

Low Self-Esteem:  Many experts say that self-worth is diminished when individual’s identity is challenged via injury. When man’s sense of him/herself is challenged, esteem can take a plunge, and feelings of worthlessness can emerge I saw it first hand at home. My husband is a very successful finance professional and after the accident he questioned his ability to remain being a start in the industry. Many psychologists say that more successful is the individual more likely he will be challenged on his self identity in tragedies like ours. My husband was afraid to lose his job, he was worried about how he would provide for the family and it put extra burden and stress on his recovery. In that case my suggestion is to show as much love and support as possible. Ask your friends and family to be with you, to comfort you. Love doesn’t only help emotional healing, it heals physical injuries as well.

I have also found a few other strategies that may help you to overcome stress associated with trauma. My husband and I tried them and they work!

Project Positive Imagery. We’ve all heard before about materializing our thoughts.. Well, its real. Visualizing one’s body healing and seeing oneself back on track is crucial. If you set this picture in your mind, you will be surprised how quickly you can get up and run again.

Connect with people who have similar injury. Learn more about your trauma, may be even write a journal about your recovery. Read and watch what other are doing in similar circumstances, you can find out a lot new information on the subject and perhaps even a few coping techniques. It will also give you a sense of understanding that you are not the only one in the world with inury like yours.

Make Goals. Dream Big but be flexible. Setting and tracking goals when injured can be a beneficial strategy.  Goals should be reasonable and realistic and should include both long-term and short-term views, so progress can be monitored in an ongoing way.  Flexibility with goals and their attainment is especially important when injured, since rehab progress is often unpredictable.

Don’t avoid your feelings, reality and pain. Face them! Avoiding the reality of one’s feelings and situation isn’t a great coping style in general.  This is especially the case when athletes are injured; avoidant coping styles ignoring feelings and trying to distract oneself from facing unwanted realities have been found to be maladaptive and not beneficial when dealing with injury.

And at the end…Once you know you are on the right track to recovery, you could give it a thought, why this challenge has occurred in your life… Is it to make you stronger? Better? Test your limits? Whatever it is, use this expirience to work for you not against you.

Be healthy!